“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water”

“A hangover is the wrath of grapes. ”

“When the wine goes in, strange things come out. ”

“One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. ”

“You don’t have to be a beer drinker to play darts, but it helps. ”

“Candy is Dandy, but Liquor is Quicker”
“Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it’s compounding a felony. ”

“Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck”

“Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.”