Funny Divorce Quotes

These are some famous divorce quotes. Some of these quotes are for women and some are for men, some are funny and some are not.

“When people divorce, it’s always such a tragedy. At the same time, if people stay together it can be even worse.”
~Monica Bellucci said it well.

Funny one:
“My mother always said don’t marry for money, divorce for money.”
~Wendy Liebman

“An open marriage is nature’s way of telling you that you need a divorce.”

“The worst reconciliation is better than the best divorce”

“I do not consider divorce an evil by any means. It is just as much a refuge for women married to brutal men as Canada was to the slaves of brutal masters.”

“To get over my divorce, I got a prescription to live at the Playboy Mansion for a while.”
~James Caan

“Friendship is the marriage of the soul, and this marriage is liable to divorce.”

“The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.”

I’ve given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages. You can’t divorce a book.
~Gloria Swanson

“In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty percent of publicity.”

“A divorce lawyer is a chameleon with a law book.”
~Marvin Mitchelson

“Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse.”

“Since her divorce: I haven’t had a home since I left there, but hey, I’m glad.”

“The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.”
~Woody Allen

“Re-examine all you have been told . . . Dismiss what insults your Soul.”
~Walt Whitman

“The loss of love is not nearly as painful as our resistance to accepting it is.”

“The beginning is always today.”
~ Mary Wollstonecraft

“The happiest time of anyone’s life is just after the first divorce.”

“Divorce is the one human tragedy that reduces everything to cash. ”

“I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.”
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

“Divorce is a by-product of the fact that maybe the nuclear unit is gone.”
~Bob Geldof

“One reason people get divorced is that they run out of gift ideas.”

“Getting divorced just because you don’t love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.”

Add more divorce quotes if you got some !

8 thoughts on “Funny Divorce Quotes

  1. divorce on

    When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they “don’t understand” one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.

  2. Pingback: Funny Humorous Famous and Shocking Divorce Quotes and Quotations | Adam's Wedding Dress

  3. Lawrence on

    As my father once said, “Living with someone you can’t get along with is hell on earth.” Tough luck for him we live in the Philippines where there’s no divorce. 🙂

  4. Paige Price on

    Divorce is always a bad news among married couples. Some couples just cannot iron out their differences.;~,

  5. divorce forms on

    I agree with the whole lot you’ve said, however such as you mentioned at the end, I at all times end up going again to how I used to do things. It’s a by no means ending circle. Writing things down is a superb idea. I’ve just lately starting storing modifications in each day processes in spreadsheet information, so I can use them like a verify list. The only downside then is that the list will get too long and I start lacking bits out! Getting into a rountine when one thing is modified is the very best recommendation I can give.

  6. Beguile on

    divorce is of course one of the worst thing that you could experience but you could get over it :~:

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