Funny Christmas Sayings

These are some Funny Christmas sayings from our treasure trove of funny sayings and other hilarious collection of sayings.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
~Anonymous

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.
~Victor Borge

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas.
~Robert Kirby

Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
~Kin Hubbard

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
~Dick Gregory

I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.
~Harlan Miller

Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.
~Author Unknown

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
~ Phyllis Diller

Christmas itself may be called into question, If carried so far it creates indigestion.
~ Ralph Bergengren

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
~Anonymous

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
~Johnny Carson

The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
~Joan Rivers.

There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
~Erma Bombeck

Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell government what they want and their kids pay for it
~ Richard Lamm

Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home. ~Carol Nelson

Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
~Kin Hubbard

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
~ Shirley Temple.

There has been only one Christmas – the rest are anniversaries.
~W.J. Cameron.

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