Humorous Thanksgiving Quotes

“Only a stomach that rarely feels hungry scorns common things.”

“My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.”

“We’re having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.”
~George Carlin

“What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit?”
A poultrygeist!

“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.”
~Jon Stewart

“Thanksgiving, man! Not a good day to be my pants.”
~Kevin James

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.
~Johnny Carson

“Who does not thank for little will not thank for much. ”
~ Estonian proverb

“The pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts … nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving. ”
~H. W. Westermayer

“Why did the turkey cross the road? To get to the other side ”

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say “thank you?”

“I have had my turkey in the freezer for a year and a half. Will it take longer to thaw?”

“If pilgrims were alive today, what would they say? Do not resuscitate. ”

“In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated? Turkey.”

Q: Why did they let the turkey join the band?
A: Because he had the drumsticks

“There is no sincerer love than the love of food.”

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