The Kaiser asks Bismarck, “Can you prove the existence of God?” Bismarck replies, “The Jews, your majesty. The Jews.”

“Anyone who teases you loves you. ”

“In a restaurant choose a table near a waiter. ”

“Not to have felt pain is not to have been human.”

“We have some Jewish members of Congress, not a lot but there’s a bunch of us.”
Gary Ackerman

“A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, “Are you comfortable?” The man says, “I make a good living.”

“A mother understands what a child does not say.”

“First mend yourself, and then mend others.”

“Wishing to make Speyer into a city, I thought to increase its honor a thousand fold by bringing in the Jews.”

“Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. ”

“Intelligent people know of what they speak; fools speak of what they know.”