Sayings and Quotes

Arnold can be quite humorous at times:

“I love Thanksgiving turkey… it’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.”

I didn’t find this too funny, but some of you might, “My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.” Perhaps because I cook good and I don’t laugh at others cooking ”See mom, I told you they wouldn’t notice that the Turkey was past expiration date. You were worried for nothing.” very funny!

“An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.” But the Turkey breast is quite lean.

This is a funny farmer saying,

“Coexistence… what the farmer does with the turkey – until Thanksgiving.”

Something funny on, “God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends.”

There are jokes and sayings on Turkey, and there is this: “Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.”

Here are some nice quotes and sayings that you can print or draw on your Tees
“I am busy! You are Ugly! Have a Nice day!” Attitude Tees

“What are you staring at?” Right across the Chest

” I have Attitude, Do you mind?”

“To be honest, I never liked you much anyway!”

“Save Your Breath. You’ll need it to blow up your date.” LOLzzzz

“Take my Advice, I don’t use it anyway!”

“This Ain’t a Beer Belly, This is a fuel Tank for a Sex Machine!”

” I Wouldn’t be so Paranoid If Everyone Wasn’t Out to Get Me.”

Now this dead funny ” HEADS you give me some tail, TAILS you give me some head!”

“I used to drink a lot; I still do, but I used to, too!”

“IF YOU TRY TO FAIL AND SUCCEED WHICH HAVE YOU DONE ”

“EVERYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO BE STUPID you are abusing your privileges ”

“Objects in t-shirt are LARGER than they appear ”

“It’s only funny until someone gets hurt… then it’s Hilarious.”

Another of my favorite, ” I don’t know what makes you so dumb, but it really works ”

“I am too sexy for my hair, thats why it is not there ”

IT’S A KILT!
If I wore something under it, then it would be a Skirt!

Written right across the Boobs, ” I wish these were brains”

NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR BLOG: A geek Quote!
“I DO WHAT THE VOICES IN MY PANTS TELL ME TO DO”

[Pic courtesy]

Here are some funny alcohol quotes and sayings

“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.”
~W.C. Fields

“The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol. “~Mignon McLaughlin

“A hangover is the wrath of grapes. ”

“Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.”
~ Bob Marley

“When the wine goes in, strange things come out. ”

“Candy Is dandy, But liquor Is quicker”
Ogden Nash…or bring me the brandy eh?

“One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. ”

“If you must drink and drive, drink Pepsi. ”
~Author unknown

“Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.”
~ Winston Churchill

“You don’t have to be a beer drinker to play darts, but it helps. ”

“Drunkenness is simply voluntary insanity”
~ Seneca

“Candy is Dandy, but Liquor is Quicker”

“When the wine goes in, strange things come out. ”
~Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schille

“Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it’s compounding a felony. ”

“You don’t have to be a beer drinker to play darts, but it helps. ”
~Author Unknown

“I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won’t let himself get snotty about it. ”
~Raymond Chandler

“Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to f*ck”

“Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.”