Sarcasm Quotes

A collection of sarcasm quotes, funny sarcastic remarks and things that you will find handy shredding someone.

Starting the sarcastic list with,

“Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.”

“I would have liked to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn’t understand me.”

“I can tell that you are lying, your lips are moving.”

“I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.”
~ Stephen Bishop

“People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure.”
~Russel Baker

“History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.”
~Abba Eban

“I like you. People say I’ve got no taste, but I like you.”

“Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victems he intends to eat until he eats them.”
~Samuel Butler

“Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.”
~ Oscar Levant

“A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.”

“The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.”
~ Frank Zappa, But that should be India, compared to which United States’s Law’s are like Stalin’s?

“He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.”
~ Victor Borge

“If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?”
~ Charles Pierce

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
~ Clarence Darrow

“If you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead already?”
~Cynthia Heimel

“She’s the first in her family born without tail.”

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